Online Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples in California
Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) is built on a simple idea: we are wired to need close, dependable bonds with the people who matter most. When that bond feels shaky, even good couples can get stuck in painful patterns. EFT helps partners see what is really happening underneath the arguments, and reach for each other in a new way.
The cycle that traps couples
Most couples I see are not really fighting about the dishes, the budget or the in-laws. They are caught in a loop. One partner pushes, criticizes or pursues. The other pulls back, shuts down or goes quiet. Each reaction sets off the other, and round and round it goes. In EFT, we treat the cycle as the problem, not either of you.
How therapy moves
- Slowing the cycle down. We map the pattern together, name the feelings under it (fear, hurt, loneliness, feeling not good enough), and step out of the blame game.
- Changing how you connect. The partner who withdraws learns to stay present. The partner who pursues learns to ask for what they need more softly. Many couples describe this as the turning point.
- Making it last. We build on the new patterns so you can handle old triggers and future stress as a team.
What a session feels like
Sessions are calm and paced. I don't take sides, and I won't ask you to "communicate better" with scripts. I help each of you slow down, say what's underneath, and hear your partner in a way that lands. You work with each other, not just with me.
Who it can help
- Couples stuck in repeating arguments, or in cold distance
- Partners feeling disconnected, lonely, or like roommates
- Couples under pressure from stress, a new baby, illness, or cultural and family expectations
What the research says
EFT is one of the most studied couples approaches, and research has found it helpful for many couples. Results vary, and I can't promise any particular outcome. We'll check in regularly on how it's going for you.
How I can help
I have 15 years of experience, and I offer EFT-informed couples sessions online, in English or Mandarin. If your relationship carries two cultures or two languages, we can work in whichever language lets you say the true thing. Before couples work begins, I check that it is safe and appropriate for both partners.
What to expect
- Free 15-minute consultation
- Couple session (80 minutes): $340 (see fees)
- Online, for clients in California, in English or Mandarin
Frequently asked questions
Do we both have to come?
For EFT, yes. The work happens between the two of you. If your partner isn't ready, we can talk about individual sessions first.
Will you take sides?
No. My job is to help both of you feel understood, and to work on the cycle you're both in.
We argue constantly. Is it too late?
Many couples come in feeling exactly that. A hard pattern isn't a sign of a doomed relationship, and the consultation is a good place to see if this fits.
Does online work for couples?
Yes. Many couples find it easier to speak openly from home. You'll need a private space and a stable connection.
Can we do sessions in Mandarin?
Yes. Sessions are available in Mandarin, English, or a mix of both.
Learn more about couples therapy. See all of my approaches.